


Flirting Fails

by Dilly_Oh



Category: Naruto
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 07:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13497336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dilly_Oh/pseuds/Dilly_Oh
Summary: Kakashi thinks Iruka is beautiful. So, he tells him. Or at least he tries to.





	Flirting Fails

**Author's Note:**

> Finally getting around to sharing the piece I wrote for the Kakairuzine last year! For more info, check out their Tumblr!

Flirting Fails

 

            Iruka’s eyes are a warm, deep dark brown. They remind Kakashi of a mug of coffee, rich and strong, or creamy hot chocolate. They certainly appear to boil with heat when angered, and make Kakashi jittery with nervous energy if he looks at them for too long. So it’s really no surprise when he’s in the mission room turning in a scroll and suddenly blurts out,

            “I’d like to drink your eyes.”

            Iruka stops, approval stamp poised in the air, and stares up at him for a long, silent moment. Then he stamps the report in slow-motion and points wordlessly at the door. Kakashi doesn’t argue. He just goes.

 

\---

 

            Iruka’s hair is long and wonderfully thick, its true beauty hidden from view when cruelly confined in its trademark ponytail. When it’s down it looks soft and silky, blanketing his neck and shoulders in a sensuous curtain. Kakashi aches to run his fingers through it, twine a strand around his finger and watch it unfurl. The color makes Kakashi think of an Irish Setter, its umber fur and red-gold highlights gleaming in the sun. He’s still thinking about the dog when he catches up to Iruka on his morning run, so it comes out as,

            “How’d you get such a glossy coat?”

            Iruka bristles (more like a cat than a dog, Kakashi notes), and jogs off in the opposite direction. Kakashi doesn’t follow.

 

\---

 

            Iruka’s voice is deep and melodic, lilting in a way that makes every word a verse, every sentence a song. When he speaks, Kakashi is struck by a feeling of peace, the rhythmic drone relaxing every part of him with its gentle candescence. He could listen to it for hours. Iruka’s voice is a lullaby, sending ripples of calm through the storm inside Kakashi, drifting him off to slumber. He tries to tell him this, but it turns into,

            “When you talk I go to sleep.”

            The peace is shattered when Iruka’s voice rises in an outraged screech. Kakashi had forgotten about the shouting.

 

\---

 

            Iruka smells like sandalwood. It’s a rich, earthy scent that Kakashi loves, heady and thick, making him weak in the knees. The scent clings to him wherever he goes, leaving a trail Kakashi is not ashamed to admit he has followed across Konoha on more than one occasion. It comes from the bar soap he uses (Kakashi’d snuck into his apartment and checked, it had been driving him a little crazy), an expensive brand imported from the Land of Wind, and worth every penny, in his opinion. It does not mask Iruka’s own personal scent, but rather, enhances it to a heavenly degree. His head spinning as he stands close to Iruka in the fragrant cloud, Kakashi tries again.

            “You smell.”

            It’s only after Iruka storms off in a huff that he realizes he left out the ‘good’ part.

 

\---

 

            Kakashi has never had trouble with words before. Being diagnosed a genius at the age of five means they come easily to him, the words flowing through his mind and out his mouth like a river, swift and sure. It’s only with Iruka that they get scrambled and shaken about, and he’s stuck with picking a handful from the pile and trying to piece together a coherent sentence. No matter how hard he concentrates, how long he’s rehearsed the lines, the words just tumble from his lips all out of order, creating chaos. It’s infuriating, this inability to speak to Iruka without making any sort of sense or, even worse, inadvertently insulting him. It’s downright maddening. He can’t explain it. He tries to, anyway.

            “I hate talking to you.”

            Iruka throws a kunai at him. Kakashi easily ducks but still feels the pain.

 

\---

 

            “Man, that Hatake guy is so WEIRD,” Kakashi hears from inside the mission room as he approaches, and stops in his tracks. “How do you handle it, Iruka?”

            Oh no. Kakashi’s gut clenches. He doesn’t want to hear this. Not from Iruka. But his feet are stuck to the floor, his legs frozen like he’s trapped in a genjutsu. He stares fixedly at a stain on the wall and waits for the inevitable.

            “I don’t think he’s weird,” Iruka’s voice replies, and Kakashi can breathe again, if only to exhale slowly through his nose. “A little funny sometimes, but not weird.”

            “Seriously?” the voice snorts. It sounds like one of Iruka’s chunnin friends, the one with the awful hair or the one with the even more awful hair, Kakashi can’t tell. “What about the time he told you that you walk like a lady?”

            Kakashi winces, recalling that particular blunder. What he’d _meant_ to say was that Iruka’s walk was sexy, eye-catching and confident like one of the gorgeous women in his books. But, like usual, the words had gotten jumbled and come out wrong.

            “I…I dunno.” Iruka’s voice again, sounding slightly confused. “I think he gets nervous. He’s just…tripping over his words.” There’s a long, contemplative pause. “It’s cute.”

            Cute? _Cute_? Kakashi is flabbergasted. Cute has never been a word used to describe the Copy Nin, one of Konoha’s finest Shinobi. Eccentric, deadly, unsociable, yes. Cute, no. He’s still absorbed in an internal debate on whether to be insulted or not when Iruka suddenly walks out of the mission room and nearly runs right into him.

            Iruka immediately stops, nearly nose-to-nose with Kakashi, who finds he can’t move again, his feet cemented firmly in place. They stare at each other in stunned silence, eyes wide, frozen in time. Kakashi can’t help but notice that Iruka has a nice nose, arched and noble, the scar running over the bridge of it accentuating the curve rather than disfiguring it, drawing the gaze naturally to his captivating eyes. Up this close, he can see the individual lashes, dark and thick, as well as the artistic mix of different colors and flecks of gold in his irises. His mouth has fallen slightly open in surprise, his lips full and a little chapped from worrying at them, probably over Naruto. Stray hairs have slipped from his ponytail and hang around his face, framing it like an art piece. Iruka fills Kakashi’s field of vision, so close he is bombarded with everything all at once; the shine of his hair, the dark of his eyes, the smell of his body soap. He’s so beautiful. It’s almost too much to look at, too overwhelming for Kakashi’s senses to process. His chest hurts, it’s hard to breathe, and his stomach tightens painfully. He’s beginning to feel light-headed when he can contain himself no longer.

            “Your face makes me sick,” Kakashi says before he can stop himself, then curses inwardly. Dammit! He’s done it again. What’s wrong with him? Why can’t he get the words right? Now Iruka will start yelling or worse, crying-

            Iruka starts laughing.

            It’s quiet at first, starting as a soft chuckle, but quickly builds to a full-out belly laugh that doubles him over, arms wrapped around his middle. He laughs and laughs, his shoulders shaking, ponytail bobbing along with the spasms. His voice echoes through the hallway, surrounding Kakashi in a cacophony of delighted mirth.

            His laughter is the most beautiful thing of all. It sounds like silver bells, ringing out and tinkling off the walls, sending chills up Kakashi’s spine with every peal. He still can’t move, can’t speak, so he just waits it out apprehensively, rather terrified to find out what will happen next.

            “Aha ha ha…oh…phew…” Iruka slowly straightens, wiping at his eyes and taking deep breaths to calm himself. His cheeks are flushed a happy pink. “I get it. I get it now. It all just… _clicked_.” He’s smiling, his face so bright and warm it’s a wonder Kakashi’s not burned to ashes where he stands. Iruka looks up at him, still grinning wide, and says, “Your ass makes _me_ sick.”

            And then he winks.

            Kakashi blushes crimson beneath the mask. His ears are burning hot, skin prickling all over, and he can feel himself break into a sweat. The warmth is nearly unbearable, his heart hammering away and breath coming fast. His arms are two useless weights at his sides. His mind is blank, struck speechless for the first time in his life. No words, insulting or otherwise, come to him. But that doesn’t matter anymore.

            Because Iruka understands him.

            And that’s all Kakashi’s ever wanted.

 

-End-


End file.
